Alleyways To Torah

SWEETEST FRIENDS - I reprinting a old post from a few years ago from the beginning of Adar. So if you are depressed, you must know - this is your last chance. In a few days it is ALL OVER. Happiness will reign as Adar enters next sunday night. As part of my preparations I have been giving a series bs"d on "Ad Di'lo Yada" - here is # 4. The first three are also on Yutorah.

"Wear A Smile And Have Friends, Wear A Scowl And Have Wrinkles. What Do We Live For If Not To Make The World Less Difficult For Each Other" [G. Eliot]

That's it. It's over.

Anyone who is: dejected, depressed, despondent, disconsolate, melancholy, downcast, sad, forlorn [two lorn + two lorn], low, in the doldrums, gloomy, disheartened, discouraged, grieving, sorrowful etc. etc. etc. No more.

IT'S ADAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FREILICH, TYERE YIDDEN! [I won't overwhelm you with all of the synonyms for happy, joyful, merry, jovial, elated, cheerful, jocular, buoyant, exhilarated etc. etc.]

A sign we put on the wall in the childrens bedroom:

THE SMILE

It doesn't cost anything, but it's worth a fortune
It enriches the receiver, while not impoverishing the giver

There is no person so strong
who can exist without it

There is no person so powerful
For whom a smile will not add

There are some tired people that in order to enable them to smile at you
SMILE AT THEM

Because -

There is no person who is in need of a smile
as much as a person who is unable to smile.

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Sent by C.A.F. [who confirmed the veracity of the story] - thank you!!

There was a woman who could not have children for 3 or 4 years. She wanted to go to the arizal's mikvah in Tzfat but it is for men only. So she and her husband went and he blocked the entrance way and made sure no men were in there and she dunked three times.

They had triplets!


MAZEL TOV MAZEL TOV MAZEL TOV!!!

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Another mai'seh shehaya: It is Erev Rosh Hashana and the Yerushalayim mikva is PACKED! There is a big 6 foot 5 inch chossid with "gekreizelte payis" [long flowing sideburns] on his way to the mikva. His hand is covering his arm. Suddenly he slips and falls to the ground - revealing a TATOO on his arm. Everybody stops and stares at him in disbelief. Not a common site at the mikva. Suddenly a small, slight, frail old man, about 5 feet tall, approaches him and offers his hand to help him up.

He also had a tatoo on his arm. He points to the number engraved by the Nazis and says "Dos is meine gehenom, un dos is deine gehenom. Lameir geyen tzo mikva". This is my hell and that is your hell. Let's go to mikva.

Sweetest most beloved friends!! Everyone has their own gehenom. The great ones are able to help others overcome and vanquish their demons. It requires sensitivity and care.

May we be equal to the task!!

Love and blessings!!!!

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I once heard a good line. We live in a generation where there is communication without connection. Email, facebook, cellphones, text-messaging etc. etc. But there is something that pains me. People aren't really connecting in a deep way. Would you "date" a potential spouse on facebook? OF COURSE NOT! [By the way - great date idea. Bring "dates" and eat them!! But first, talk about bug-checking and guys, if she cares and checks her fruits - MARRY HER!! Well, also make sure you like her. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm...]

Would you marry a guy you know from g-chatting? [Is that what it is called? I heard someone say that last week.] No way Jose!! Even if his name isn't Jose but Yossi you wouldn't marry him. It is a superficial form of communication!!

No, no sweetest friends, I am not saying we should ignore all modern forms of communication, but that we should use it properly. It is definitely convenient and has many advantages including saving time.

Some suggestions:

1] When you talk to someone [on the computer, phone or otherwise] try to talk about deeper more spiritual matters. Time is a priceless commodity, use it well. Chazal say that one must have friends - "Friends or Death", but true friendship is one based on emotional and spiritual connection - not meaningless discussions about the weather.

2] When you are with a friend - TURN OFF YOUR CELLPHONE! It is annoying when it rings and rude when you interrupt a conversation to answer it. Even when the phone isn't ringing the very fact that it is on means that the one holding it is not really with you. Of course there are exceptions to the rule but in my opinion that is the rule. On a persoanl note: When I am talking with someone and they answer their phone [this has happened to me about 10 million times] I wonder "I know that I am not important but why does he have to make me feel that way?!" When the phone rings in my home and I am talking to my wife we don't answer [generally]. Who could be on the phone that is more important than my wife?? I only have one!! Frankly - every person we are with should be made to feel that he is THE MOST IMPORTANT IN THE WORLD. Chazal teach us that one of the questions asked when we meet Hashem is "Did you make your friend feel like a King/Queen?" Would you answer the phone during a meeting with a King? President? Even a Mayor? Why does your friend deserve less respect?

3] Some people find it easier to open up on a computer. But if possible, true connection should be achieved face to face. It is important to look a person in the eye and show that you care and are listening with rapt attention. Shlomo Hamelech could have asked for anything and he asked for a "LEV SHOMEA" - A listening heart.

4] If you receive a phone message or email try to answer promptly. If someone wants to contact you, getting in touch with them has a Jewish term - "chessed". Rav Noach Weinberg was one of the busiest Jews alive. He once became furious with a student who didn't return someone else's call for 48 hours. He boomed "I ALWAYS return a call within 24 hours!! That is the beginning of Ahavas Yisrael." [As I am typing this I am listening to a eulogy of Reb Noach and heard the story from the Talmid. What Hashgacha!]

5] Don't spend too much time communicating with the world. If you are a male - you have a BIBLICAL COMMANDMENT to learn every free minute. And many other mitzvos. If you are female - there is also much Torah to learn, Tanach, Mesilas Yesharim, Pirkei Avos etc. etc. And there is chessed to do. And there is time to spend alone involved in introspection and relaxation.

6] Before making a phone call, sending an email etc. you can ask yourself - is this what Hashem wants? Will it bring another person [or you] simcha, or aliyah in Avodas Hashem?

When the first man went up to the moon, they interviewed the great Ponovitcher Rosh Yeshiva Rav Kahanaman ztz"l [d. 1969] and asked him what he thought. He answered "A man can reach the moon, but lev el lev lo naga'u - people's hearts are no closer." I fear that today people are further than ever.

May we merit to truly connect to other. That is the secret of Jewish survival. When Haman's decree to destroy the Jews was proclaimed, Esther's response was "Lech knos es kol hayehudim" - Gather together all of the Jews.

Amen keyn yehi ratzon!!!

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A great mai'seh I heard from one of the boys in Yeshiva tonight!

The year is about 1991. His father was close to the Lubavitcher Rebbe and one Sunday he went with his mother to get a bracha. The Rebbe gave them a dollar. Then called them back and gave two more. She was at the beginning of her pregnancy at the time but unbeknownst to them she was carrying ....... triplets.

The boy who told me the story is one of them.

Love and blessings!!!!

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Well, I was on the radio on Friday and have but one regret. I forgot to plug my new book "7 Habits Of Highly Ineffective People". But I guess it is apropo because one of them is "missing opportunities" - which I did. :)

In this weeks parsha we read that the Jews "encamped" next to the mountain. The Torah uses the word "Vayichan". The Chassidim intepret this to mean "chen" - charm. In order to receive the Torah the Jews had to be "charming" to each other.

That reminded me of the saying of Chazal "Kol Yisrael areivim zeh la'zeh", which literally means that we are all responsible for each other. But it can also mean "All Jews must be sweet [areiv is sweet] to each other." That is our job in life. To be charming and sweet.

Love, Blessings And Gut Voch to all!!!

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From a parsha email from my friend Eytan Menachem Hakohen Austein:

I was sitting in seder today, minding my own business, trying to learn with my chavrusah, when all the sudden, one of my shana alef friends walks over to our table and starts singing. He asked me join in...why not? So we start dancing and singing to that song everyone knows; the tune of Adon Olam, with the lyrics of "I don't know why i share my lunch, with cherry coke and nestle crunch..." Fun for the whole family. Right? Wrong! In the middle of our little party, one of my rabbeim from last year sees me and yells across the entire beis medrash, "Austein! Stop singing and start learning!" I immediately smiled, assuming that he was joking. As I waited for his smile, it didn't come. Picture this scene; its embarrassing as anything. And so as everyone in the beis medrash stopped learning and looked right at me, I suddenly began to feel as small as an ant. It's no coincidence that this week's parsha shows the exact mussar that my rebbe was trying to teach me. He wanted to convey the message that learning time is for learning, and it should be done whole-heartedly and with a passion, or if you're yeshivish, with "a bren". Bnei Yisrael accepted the Torah ki'ish ecad, bi'lev echad, together, but they also accepted it under circumstances that are described as loud and noisy: the intense thunder, lightening, Hashem's voice...every time we learn, we are supposed to learn "Ki'nisi'nasam" as it [the torah] was given to us: with noise, excitement, enthusiasm!


This weeks sicha.

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SWEETEST FRIENDS - THIS IS IT!!

Nachum Segal is broadcasting from Netiv Aryeh tomorrow and I, little me, has been chosen to say a three minute dvar Torah at about three o'clock Israel time. Now here is the problem: WHAT ON EARTH SHOULD I SAY? I have never been on the radio before [except maybe for those silly call in sports radio shows as a kid]. I AM NERVOUS! My friend and Rebbe Rav Tzvi Shiloni has been telling me for years that I should have a radio show - so here it is, 3-4 minutes. Or maybe I should just keep going until they force a commercial on me :).

You may call with suggestions: 646-461-1628 or email me at allyatika@gmail.com.

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PLEASE DAVEN FOR MEIRA MINDEL BAS CHAVA GOLDA!!!!!!!


Thank you!!

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I LOVE Judaism! Imagine a Professor of Higher Mathematics from M.I.T. who wrote 25 books with the GREATEST chiddushim in Mathematics. You ask him when you meet him what he does and he says - "I am a student of wise men". NO WAY!! "I am a Professor of Higher-Fancy-Shmancy-Mathematics at the most High-Falutin' University in the world." That is what he would say.

What is the greatest Torah Scholar called? A "Talmid Chacham". A student of the wise or wise student. No matter how much you learn you never cease being a student!! I have friends who are Rabbeim and teachers. I am not. I am happy to be a student. Fortunately I am surrounded by students just like me. They are much younger than I but it doesn't bother me. I enjoy their innocence, enthusiasm and excitement.

May we always remain eager to learn!!

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An interesting article brought to my attention, here.

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