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Love #6: Achieving True Love Is Hard

"Love at first sight is easy to understand. It's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle."

Important lesson! "Falling in love" requires no effort. Anything effortless does not last. To truly love someone a great deal of effort must be invested in the relationship. Remember, if you are in a relationship and you don't find it easy, that is a good sign.

love at first sight is always "ahava sh'tluya b'davar"-love that is dependent on a thing. you don't even know the person and you're proffessing to have fallen in love already?? it must be their looks, or their humor or their confidence, or their seemingly engaging personality. and while these are all very important (even looks, to an extent), you can't love someone for that. b/c the second half of the statement is "battul hadavar, battul ha'ahava"- when the person is serious/boring/not confident/no longer good-looking, the love is gone. this holds true even if the love is based on more lofty things, like yirat hashem, or that he learns torah all the time-if chalila the person slips and exhibits a moment of no yirah, or is he has to leave yeshiva one day to work, then the love goes, just as it would with something more superficial. one of my teachers has told us time and again that the best answer you can give to "what do you love about him?" is "i don't really know". because chazal tell us that the opposite of the above statement is true as well!
p.s. this is still "morah". a certain person (the rav can take a wild guess) changed it...

I would call you "Morah'dik" translated as "awe-inspiring".

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About me

  • I'm Rabbi Ally Ehrman
  • From Old City Jerusalem, Israel
  • I am a Rebbe in Yeshivat Netiv Aryeh.
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