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"Did You Hear?"

"Did you hear who is getting divorced?"


"Mr.and Mrs. -------."

"Reeeeealy! What happened?"

"Well, Mr. ----- was caught ---------. And in order to take revenge Mrs. ----- went -------."

"Whoa!!! Whose side are the children on?"

"Well, two of the kids are on the mothers side and are no longer talking to the father. One of the kids is on the the fathers side and is no longer talking to the mother - and his siblings. And one child still hasn't decided." [Indeed it is not easy deciding whether to break off contact with ones mother or ones father.] "And get this!! Mr. ----'s mother is on her daughter in-laws side!!"

In certain neighborhoods such gossip spreads like wildfire. Fotunately I don't live in such a neighborhood. Recently I was speaking to a woman who lives a block away. I asked if her husband could help me with a certain matter. She replied that her husband left her. I was shocked. "When?" "Six months ago". "What happened?" She told me something very tragic. This woman has young children and is very poor. She is a widow with a living husband. Sad.

The light in this story is that I wasn't aware. I knew that she was on my list of the needy who receive free chickens [as are her parents, so they can't help her much]. But I didn't know how desperate the situation is. Gossip is poison. I am glad that generally I am able to avoid it [unless I can help in some way].

So I take this opportunity to thank all of those who have donated to the "Tomchei Shabbos Of The Rova Fund".

And to encourage people to try to avoid gossip that spreads like wildfire - as one would run away from wildfire.

maybe in such a case, the gossip would have actually served a to'elet in that you (and others) would be aware as to how desparate the situation was. friends and neighbors would be able to provide for the poor family sooner than they would had they kept it all a secret.

secondly, i agree that the details of why a couple got divorced, aside from being hearsay and loshon hora, is none of our business. however, if i understand what you mean by "a widow with a living husband", it is crucial that those that know her husband do find out this "gossip" immediately!. Aguna situations, IMHO, is one of the worst plagues of kllal yisrael.

i know a m'sarev get who was the gabbai of his shul. when the agunah and her parents(who were long-standing members of the shul)approached the rav simply to tell the m'sarev to step down until it's cleared up, the rav didn't want to get involved. "how do i know that he is m'sarev?". this lack of torah leadership only fans the fire. (this story did eventually end properly when the brother of the m'sarev told him not to come to his wedding until he issues a get for his wife).

rebbe, if you know this man, please do anything in your power to help release this woman from her shackles! tizke l'mitzvot

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About me

  • I'm Rabbi Ally Ehrman
  • From Old City Jerusalem, Israel
  • I am a Rebbe in Yeshivat Netiv Aryeh.
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