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O.K. here is the scene. You are a single guy [ladies please make everything I say gender appropriate for yourselves] and someone suggests a girl for you. She is pretty, intelligent [and some say pretty intelligent], has lots of personality, is modest [in dress and character], comes from a super family [rumor has it that her father owns a few dozen buildings in Manhattan. He also never misses a day of Daf-Yomi. Even more significant - he has never been arrested for tax evasion, money laundering or otherwise]. "Ala mailois" as they say in Yiddish. Sounds great!

Just one thing. She is, well, like, an idolater.


Yes, yes. You heard correctly.

Still interested?

The Zohar and the Rambam both say [independently - the Rambam never saw the Zohar] that if one gets angry it is like worshipping idols. She gets angry sometimes. No big deal? Yes big deal!!

My personal problem: I am already married to a very pious woman. I have to make sure that her husband is not akin to an idol worshipper.

Not a simple task.

Heh. Your wife IS very pious, but I think you make her laugh far more than you could ever make her bad, from my own experiences. Please send my regards. :)

make her *sad* or act *mad* - ugh typos

Will do!

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it reminds me of a conversation i once had with my roomates in college. what would each of us do if our future wife decided after several years of marriage that she wanted to move away from eretz yisrael? one roomie was quick to answer, "divorce her."

"just like that? kids, life, everything?" we asked.

"well", he said, "i would explain to them that their mother decided to worship idolatry b'tahara. (Mesechet Avoda Zara 8a)so, we love her and will miss her very much."

i don't have the speaker's permission to quote him, so i won't. but you can probably figure out who it was!

R' Shlomo

Just out of curiosity ask him if he still feels this way [if he already has a wife and kids].

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About me

  • I'm Rabbi Ally Ehrman
  • From Old City Jerusalem, Israel
  • I am a Rebbe in Yeshivat Netiv Aryeh.
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