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Pro-Choice [The Right Choice]

Are children a burden? YES, I answer emphatically!

So, is a wallet STUFFED with hundred dollar bills. But we are willing to bear such a burden. With great joy.

Ladies, isn't it burdensome to wear a diamond necklace that is absolutely STUNNING? With beautifully set diamonds, some of which are the size of ice-cubes [if you like that style. But you can choose any such necklace that is to your liking]. But they don't melt! Wouldn't it be easier to have nothing weighing down your neck. But you will manage.

Children are a burden. But they are the greatest blessing on G-d's wonderful planet. When G-d tells both Adam and Noach to have children the pasuk says "He BLESSED them saying, be fruitful and multiply." Witness people who are unable to have children. They will spare no expense and anguish [both physical and emotional] in order to conceive.

But having children is not only a blessing. It is also a commandment. It is our obligation to form a partnership with G-d in the creation of a human being.

Very often young, frum couples wish to postpone this blessing/obligation. Halachically this is problematic, to say the least [barring extenuating circumstances]. But putting that aside, I think that such an attitude betrays a lack of appreciation of the centrality of child-bearing in the life of a Jew.

I don't think that the question should be "Should I have a child while earning my degree?" but "Should I get earn my degree while having a child?."

Bearing children must be a "no brainer" as they say today. Nothing else on Earth can compete with the meaning that having children adds to one's life. Not a degree or a job or financial concerns that in my experience [in today's day and age in our communities] are always blown out of proportion.

One more point. Have you ever met a Jewish mother who expressed regret at having a child?! "Melvin, I wish that you were never born. Then I could have spent more time playing bridge with my girlfriends and less time taking you to the playground."

Children are the BEST. But we can't ever forget those who happily make so many sacrifices for their children. The parents. But let's call a spade a spade. Who is ALWAYS there for the child?

The mother.

So thanks Mom. I love you.

People postpone marriage in order to learn in Yeshivah all the time.

Dear Moses
Dear Moses

I was referring to those who are already married and postpone childbirth for less than holy reasons. Postponing a marriage [for a short time] in order to learn torah is decision with a strong halachic and spiritual basis.

Do people call you Moses?

That was the sign I asked Hashem for so that I wouldn't lose hope despite the funny looks/comment/eyebrows my chosson and I keep getting because of our life's descisions! We are fed up with the American perspective of these things, and we are even more fed up with how these perspectives have tainted frum Jews.

Yes, people call me Moses - that is my name. What else would they call me? Sometimes people call me "Mo"

There are many poskim that are meikil in postponing this bracha/obligation for a short period. i have even heard (i don't know the source of this rumor) that some poskim are recommending to younger couples to postpone having children, in light of a recent outbreak of divorce (she'lo naidah). obviously, each couple must consult a rav on case-by-case basis and not rely on the above as a general rule.

signed a father of 3 within 4 years, but still haven't fulfilled my obligation.

Moses, I love your name! I just never met anyone personally who was called Moses.

Morah - You are doing 100% the right thing . Keep it up! You are holy.

R' Shlomo - Mazel Tov on seder moed!!!!!!!!!!

The kula's begin after a boy and a girl are born or in a case where there is a health issue [or other serious issues]. My point was not to push kids off for convience sake.

If you get more info on the rumor you mentioned I'd love to know. In the meantime it seems awfully strange [to me] that when a couple gets married we advise them not to have children for a while lest they get divorced.

As far as your children are concerned - they will only benefit am yisrael and mankind at large.
Ken Yirbu!!! [No relation to Ken Griffey]

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About me

  • I'm Rabbi Ally Ehrman
  • From Old City Jerusalem, Israel
  • I am a Rebbe in Yeshivat Netiv Aryeh.
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