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Love #2: Your Wife Is Your Life

Roses are red
Violets are blue
If your make your spouse feel loved
You are a really good Jew

[The title to the post rhymes so I wanted to prove that it is not a fluke and I really am poetic. Yes indeed, I was a poet, and I didn't even know it. I wanted to be a Cantor, but when I sang in shul I heard excessive banter. I wished to become an Engineer, but all of the schooling required instilled within me fear. I will stop, before to your Computer you give a bop.]

A person must learn to love his or her spouse. When dealing with any other person the rule is "Chayecha Kodmin" - your basic needs come first. However, when it comes to your spouse things are different. Your spouses needs are your needs! [This idea will be qualified in a future post, but that is one way of looking at the uniqueness of the marital bond.]

Our Rabbis say that one should love one's wife as much as he loves himself and he should respect her MORE than he respects himself. This requires HARD WORK, NEGATING ONE'S EGO AND SELF-SACRIFICE. But if one is successful in this task then I welcome him to the Garden of Eden right here on earth.

But please, please, don't publicize this post. It will put divorce lawyers out of business. I don't enjoy ruining other people's livelihoods.

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Segula - 40 days at the Kotel

About me

  • I'm Rabbi Ally Ehrman
  • From Old City Jerusalem, Israel
  • I am a Rebbe in Yeshivat Netiv Aryeh.
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